What mother of the groom should not say?

The mother of the groom plays a vital role in her family, but navigating her relationship with her future daughter-in-law can be tricky. As a representative of her family, her main job is to be welcoming and supportive. This is an exciting time for everyone, and it’s important to offer a helping hand when needed—and to avoid saying anything that could be hurtful or cause conflict.

Here are five things the mother of the groom should never say to the bride-to-be:

1. “I will make the wedding guest list.”

The wedding guest list can be a touchy subject. While it's natural to want to include your extended family and close friends, it’s important to remember that this is the couple's day. Even if the parents are contributing financially, the final decision about who gets an invitation should always belong to the couple. Instead of making demands, it’s best to support their choices and offer suggestions respectfully.

2. "My daughter ( or someone )should be a bridesmaid."

Choosing a wedding party is one of the most personal decisions a couple makes. The bride gets to choose who stands beside her on her special day, and that might not include the groom's sister. It's best to avoid making demands or pressuring the bride. A great way to handle this is to have an open, early conversation. You could ask, "What are your plans for the wedding party?" or "Would you like to include any of our family members?" This allows the couple to share their plans without feeling pressured.

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3. "You should change your wedding dress and makeup now."

On the wedding day, the bride's look is her choice. Whether you love her dress or not, it’s crucial to keep any negative comments to yourself. By this point, all decisions have been made, and the bride is ready to walk down the aisle. Any commentary you offer should be positive and encouraging. Focus on how beautiful and happy she looks—that’s all that really matters.

4.“I don’t like the wedding décor.”

The wedding décor, from the flowers to the table settings, is a reflection of the couple's style and taste. Even if you’re helping with the wedding costs, the couple should have the final say on the design. Making negative or critical comments about their choices is not only unhelpful but can also be hurtful. If you have strong feelings about a particular detail, consider offering to pay for an alternative, but remember that the final decision is theirs.

5. "Your marriage should be like mine."

Every couple’s journey is unique. While you may have traditions and beliefs about what a marriage should look like, you shouldn't impose them on your son and his future wife. Each generation has its own way of thinking about partnership and marriage. The best thing you can do is support the couple as they build their own life together. A great way to do this is to build your own relationship with the bride, separate from her relationship with your son. This shows your support for their new life together.

As the mother of the groom, you can help the newly couple to plan their wedding party, celebrate and enjoy the party, get cherish memory, and get a good relationship with your DIL.

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