Who Traditionally Pay For Bridesmaid Dresses?

by Jacob Yu November 25, 2025

Who Pays for the Bridesmaid Dress? Traditional Etiquette vs. Modern Reality

The Short Answer

The traditional etiquette says the bride or the couple should pay for the bridesmaid dresses.

The modern reality in many parts of the world (especially the US) is that the bridesmaids are now expected to pay for their own dresses, as part of the overall financial commitment of being in the bridal party.

So, you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid. It's an honour, a joy, and a firm sign that you are one of the most important people in the bride’s life. You’re already picturing the gorgeous photos, the emotional toasts, and the epic dance floor moments.

But then, as the excitement settles, a very real, potentially awkward question bubbles up: Who pays for the bridesmaid dress?

The cost of being in a wedding can add up quickly. Between the bachelorette party, travel, gifts, and possibly professional hair and makeup, the dress is just one more line item on the budget. For many couples and their bridal parties, this is the single most confusing piece of modern wedding etiquette.

Should the bride cover the expense since she is choosing the look, or is it a required financial commitment for anyone who accepts the role? The answer, like most things in wedding planning, is complicated. It involves a healthy dose of tradition, a pinch of modern economics, and a heavy measure of open communication. In this post, we’re going to definitively break down:

The Traditional Answer: What classic etiquette books recommend.
The Modern Reality: Why and how the answer has shifted.
Best Practices: How brides can approach this conversation with tact and transparency.

Let's dive into the history before we tackle the modern wedding budget!

👑 Traditional Etiquette: Who Traditionally Pays for Bridesmaid Dresses?

To understand the current debate, we must first look back. In the world of classic wedding etiquette, the rule was simple and quite clear: the person hosting the wedding, typically the bride or her family, pays for the bridesmaid dresses.

The Rationale Behind the Rule

This tradition wasn't just about generosity; it was rooted in a practical logic:

The Bride’s Vision: The dresses chosen for the bridal party are often specific—a particular colour, fabric, length, or designer—to match the aesthetic of the wedding day. Since the bride is dictating what her attendants must wear for her event, it’s considered an imposition on the attendant to pay for it.
Lack of Re-wearability: Traditionally, bridesmaid dresses were often highly formal and rarely suitable for future events. Etiquette dictated that if you purchase an item that the recipient will only use once (for your benefit), the cost should not fall on them.
A Gift of Appreciation: Covering the cost of the dress was also seen as a small gift or token of appreciation for the friend or relative who was taking on the duties of a bridesmaid, which include planning events, offering emotional support, and attending fittings.

Key Traditional Takeaway: If a bride chooses a specific, custom, or expensive dress, and expects her bridesmaids to wear it without variation, tradition is firmly on the side of the bride paying the bill.

🌍 Modern Reality: Do Bridesmaids Pay for Their Own Dresses?

While classic etiquette is clear, the wedding world has changed dramatically. If you poll modern brides and bridesmaids today, you'll find that the old rule has been largely superseded by a different financial norm.

The modern reality is this: In many places, it is now expected for the bridesmaid to pay for her own dress and related attire.

Why Did the Tradition Change?

Several major factors contributed to this significant financial shift:

Rising Wedding Costs: The overall cost of weddings has soared over the past few decades. Asking the couple (or their parents) to cover the dresses for a large bridal party on top of all other expenses has become financially unsustainable for many.
The "Acceptance" of the Role: Being a bridesmaid is now viewed more broadly as accepting a package deal that includes significant financial obligations, like attending the hen/bachelorette party (often a multi-day trip), buying gifts, and covering attire.
Increased Flexibility: Modern brides are often far more flexible than their traditional counterparts. Instead of demanding a single, expensive, one-time-wear dress, many brides now offer options:
- Color Palette Only: "Wear any floor-length dress in forest green."
- Shared Retailers: "Choose any style from this specific online store."
- This flexibility lessens the bride's obligation to pay, as the bridesmaid is choosing a dress they might actually like and potentially wear again.

A Note on Regional Differences (US vs. UK/Europe)

The modern norm isn't universal. This is a key point to emphasize, especially for readers planning international weddings:

🇺🇸 The United States: Here, the expectation for the bridesmaid to pay is the dominant norm. It is often budgeted for by friends and family when they are asked to join a bridal party.
🇬🇧 The UK and Europe: While this is changing, traditional etiquette holds more weight. It is still more common or expected for the bride to pay for the dresses, or at least offer a significant contribution. Asking bridesmaids to pay is done, but often with more consideration for budget and re-wearability.

💰 How Much Should a Bridesmaid Dress Cost?

When discussing cost, it's helpful to break it down into different price tiers. While a bride is often trying to manage her vision, the primary consideration should be the financial comfort of the bridal party.

Here is a guideline for what a bridesmaid dress costs, excluding alterations, and the etiquette associated with each price point:

Price Tier	Cost Range (USD)	Associated Etiquette & Best Practices
Affordable	$50 – $150	Ideal Target. This range is highly considerate and respects the modern reality of bridesmaids covering their own costs. The dresses are often simple, highly re-wearable (e.g., from a budget-friendly retail site), and significantly minimize stress.
Mid-Range	$150 – $250	The Modern Norm. Most bridesmaids expect to pay within this range. These dresses often come from specialized bridal or higher-end retail boutiques. Crucially, the bride must clear this budget with the group before selecting the dress.
High-End	$250 – $400+	Requires Bride's Contribution. At this price point, the cost is a true financial burden for many. If a bride insists on a custom, designer, or specialty dress in this tier, traditional etiquette dictates that the bride should pay for the dress (or at least cover half the cost) as a gift to her attendants.

Why Pricing Matters: Beyond the Dress

Remember that the cost of the dress is only one piece of the puzzle. When setting the dress budget, the bride must factor in the total financial picture for her attendants:

Alterations: Add $50 to $150+
Shoes & Accessories: Add $50 to $150+
Hair & Makeup: Add $100 to $250 (if paid for by the bridesmaid)

A dress that costs $200 can easily result in a $450 total outfit cost once all accessories and services are factored in. Keeping the dress price manageable shows respect for the total financial commitment your bridal party is making.

🗣️ How to Discuss Bridesmaid Dress Costs: A Guide for Brides

Whether you choose to follow the traditional route (paying for the dresses) or the modern route (asking bridesmaids to pay), one thing is non-negotiable: transparency is key. A confused or financially blindsided bridesmaid can lead to hurt feelings and unnecessary stress.

Here is how a bride can approach this topic with tact and consideration:

1. Communicate Costs Early and Often

Do not wait until the dresses are chosen to mention the price. When asking someone to be a bridesmaid, frame the request around an honest discussion of the financial commitment:

“I would be honored if you were my bridesmaid. I want to be upfront that I am asking everyone to cover the cost of their own dress, which I plan to keep under $200. I will cover the professional makeup if you want it, but you're responsible for shoes and travel. Does that sound manageable for you?”

2. Discuss the Budget Before Choosing the Dress

Never select a $400 dress and then tell your bridesmaids they owe $400. You must gauge their comfort level first.

Ask for Input: Send a quick poll or chat individually to ask what their comfortable spending maximum is for the dress and for the overall bridesmaid role.
Find the Lowest Common Denominator: The final dress budget should align with the amount the bridesmaid least able to afford can comfortably spend.

3. Be Thoughtful if You Expect Them to Pay

If you ask your bridal party to cover the cost of their attire, make sure you are making choices that respect their investment:

Choose an Affordable Price Point: Strive for dresses well under the average cost of a nice outfit—think $150–$250 max.
Prioritize Re-wearability: Choose a style, fabric, or colour that can genuinely be worn again. A classic slip dress or a neutral-toned gown is a much easier sell than a neon tulle creation.
Offer Flexibility: The greatest compromise is allowing them to choose their own style within a fixed colour, fabric, or length. This ensures they choose something flattering that fits their personal budget.

4. If You Decide to Pay (The Generous Option)

If your budget allows you to cover the dresses, be specific about what you are covering:

Be Clear on Exclusions: "I’ve got the full cost of the dresses, but please note that the cost of any alterations and the shoes will be your responsibility." Alterations can often add $50–$150, so this distinction is important.

By leading with communication and empathy, you ensure that the dress—and the financial commitment it represents—doesn't overshadow the excitement of celebrating your wedding day.

📋 What About Other Costs? A Quick Etiquette Guide

While the dress is the biggest single item, being a bridesmaid involves other expenses. To keep things clear, here is a quick overview of who traditionally covers the most common costs related to the attire:

Item	Traditional Etiquette	Modern Norm (Varies)
Bridesmaid Dress	Bride/Couple	Bridesmaid (most common)
Alterations	Bride/Couple	Bridesmaid (most common)
Shoes & Accessories	Bridesmaid	Bridesmaid
Professional Hair & Makeup	Bride/Couple (if mandatory)	Bridesmaid (unless the bride covers it as a gift)
Bouquet	Bride/Couple	Bride/Couple
Hen/Bachelorette Party	Bridesmaids/Attendees	Bridesmaids/Attendees
Travel & Accommodation	Bridesmaids/Attendees	Bridesmaids/Attendees

The rule of thumb remains of who pay for the cost as bridesmaid:

The bride/couple pays for the things necessary for the wedding ceremony (dresses, flowers);

The bridesmaid pays for personal items (shoes, travel, parties). However, the line is heavily blurred on dresses and hair/makeup.

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The question of who pays for the bridesmaid dress boils down to a conflict between tradition and practicality.

While tradition firmly states the bride should cover the cost—a gesture that remains incredibly generous and appreciated—the modern wedding reality often makes this expectation impractical. In contemporary bridal parties, especially in the US, the financial baton has been passed to the bridesmaid.

Ultimately, the best etiquette for the modern couple is not found in an outdated rulebook, but in transparent communication. Whether you follow tradition or the modern norm, the most important thing is setting a clear, comfortable budget early on, ensuring your friendships remain the focus, not the price tag of a dress.

A wedding is a celebration of love, and your attendants are there because they love you. By being open and considerate about the costs involved, you ensure that the excitement of being a bridesmaid remains a joy, not a burden.

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❓ FAQ: Quick Answers to Common Bridesmaid Cost Questions

1. Are alterations usually included in the dress cost?

No, almost never. Unless the bride specifically states she is covering alterations, the cost of tailoring the dress (which can range from $50 to $150 or more) is typically the responsibility of the bridesmaid. This is standard even when the bride is paying for the dress itself.

2. Who pays for hair and makeup for the bridesmaids?

This varies widely and is a major point of modern confusion:

If the bride mandates professional hair and makeup (i.e., you are required to use her stylist), she should ideally cover the cost, or at least heavily subsidize it.
If professional hair and makeup is optional, and the bridesmaid chooses to participate, the bridesmaid usually pays.
Most Common Compromise: The bride pays for the hair/makeup artist's fees (the minimum fee to secure the professional for the day) but the bridesmaids pay for their individual services.

3. What is the average amount a bridesmaid is expected to spend on a dress?

There is no fixed average, but a highly considerate bride aiming for affordability will aim for a budget of $150 to $250. If a dress exceeds $300, it should be discussed very carefully with the entire party beforehand, as this is approaching the high end of the expected cost.

4. What if a bridesmaid can't afford the dress the bride chose?

This is a tough but common situation. The best approach is to talk to the bride privately and immediately. Do not wait until the last minute. The bride may be able to:

Offer to cover your portion of the cost discreetly.
Help you find the same dress style used or on sale.
Allow you to wear a different, more affordable dress in the same color/fabric.

5. Does the bride pay for the shoes or accessories?

No. The bridesmaids are typically responsible for all accessories, including shoes, jewelry, and any undergarments required for the dress. Even if the bride requests a specific shoe color (like nude or metallic), the bridesmaid buys them, as they are considered personal items.

If you found this guide helpful, don't forget to share it with a friend who is planning a wedding or has just been asked to be a bridesmaid! Need more budgeting advice? Check out our post on Is $200 Too Much for a Bridesmaid Dress? (And the Hidden Costs You Must Consider)

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