Groom's Family Financial Obligations Wedding

One of the biggest challenges in wedding planning is creating a budget, and figuring out who pays for what can make it even more complicated. 

While traditional etiquette used to clearly define what the bride's family, the groom's family, and the couple themselves should pay for, modern weddings are much more flexible. 

Today, many couples pay for the entire wedding on their own, while others split the costs with family based on what they can afford. However, some families still follow these classic guidelines. This can leave couples wondering: what are the traditional financial responsibilities for the groom's family and the bride's family?

Historically, the bride's family has been responsible for the majority of wedding costs, from hiring the wedding planner to paying vendors. They were also traditionally expected to host some pre-wedding events. 
The groom's family's financial role was typically smaller and more specific. They traditionally paid for the marriage license, the rehearsal dinner, and the honeymoon. In addition to these larger expenses, there were also many smaller costs the groom's family was expected to cover.

To help clarify what the groom's family traditionally contributes, we've consulted with wedding expert read on for her insights into what the groom and his parents are traditionally expected to cover.

What Should Groom's Family Pay For?

While many modern couples and families choose to split costs differently, traditional etiquette suggests that the groom's family is responsible for a specific set of wedding expenses. 

This list often includes the bride's rings, the attire for the groom and groomsmen, the rehearsal dinner, gifts for the groomsmen, the officiant's fee, the marriage license, and the honeymoon. They may also be expected to pay for certain floral arrangements and transportation costs.

however, it is flexible and can be adjusted based on the preferences and financial situations of both families. Sometimes the groom’s family will just pay for the rehearsal dinner, and that’s all, and in that case, the bride’s family just handles everything else.

The Bride’s Rings

It is customary for the groom to buy the engagement ring before the wedding planning begins. In addition, traditional etiquette states that the groom (or his family) is also responsible for purchasing the bride's wedding band, which is exchanged during the ceremony. Even if the couple chooses the ring together, the groom typically pays for it.

The Cost of Marriage License

The cost of a marriage license varies by state, but traditionally, the groom or his family is responsible for covering this fee. This payment secures the legal document that allows the couple to get married.

The Officiant's Fee or Donation

Traditionally, the groom or his family is responsible for paying the officiant. While some officiants, particularly ministers, do not have a set fee, a donation is a customary way to show appreciation. A gift of at least $100 is recommended, but $350 or more is a good benchmark, as it's comparable to the average fee for other wedding ceremony professionals. Additionally, if the officiant is traveling from out of town at the request of the groom's family, they are expected to cover the cost of their lodging.

The Groom's and Groomsmen's Attire

Traditionally, the groom's family covers the cost of the groom's and groomsmen's attire, whether they are buying or renting. However, it's now common for groomsmen to pay for their own outfits.

Gifts for the Groomsmen

It is a common tradition for couples to give gifts to their wedding party as a thank-you for their support. Traditionally, the groom's family is expected to pay for the gifts given to the groomsmen. These gifts are often presented on the morning of the wedding or during a pre-wedding event.

Groomsmen's Lodging

The groom's family is also technically responsible for paying for the groomsmen's lodging, whether it's at a hotel or an Airbnb. However, this is another cost that has been passed onto the groomsmen in most modern weddings.

The Rehearsal Dinner

The groom's family traditionally covers the entire cost of the rehearsal dinner, including the venue, food, drinks, entertainment, and transportation. This event is often seen as their opportunity to add a personal touch to the wedding festivities. They can select a venue, menu, and music that reflects their family's unique style and personality.

Personal Wedding Flowers

Traditionally, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the couple's personal flowers. 
This includes the bride's bouquet, the boutonnières for the groom, groomsmen, and ushers, and the corsages or small bouquets for the mothers and grandmothers.

Reception Exit Transportation

The groom's family traditionally pays for the couple's transportation when they leave the wedding reception, whether it's a classic car, a horse-drawn carriage, or any other type of getaway vehicle.

How to Talk to Groom's Parents About Wedding Costs

Talking about money can be difficult, even with your own family, and it can be even more intimidating to have this conversation with your future in-laws, especially if you don't know them well. Every couple handles this differently. Some prefer to wait for the groom's family to bring up the topic of financial contributions, while others feel more comfortable taking a direct approach. There are also couples who ask their own parents to have the conversation with the groom's parents, allowing the families to work out the details among themselves.

If you're uncomfortable having the conversation directly, you could ask your wedding planner to help mediate. Another option is to consider your family dynamics. Often, the easiest approach is for the bride to talk to the groom, who can then speak with his parents. However, the best way to handle the situation ultimately depends on the relationship between the bride and the groom's parents.

What Happens If the Groom's Family Is Unable to Contribute

When navigating wedding finances, it's essential to consider the financial situation of both families. No one is obligated to contribute, and if the groom's family is unable or unwilling to help, you and your partner should decide how to proceed. You may choose to cover the costs yourselves, or the bride and her family can step in to help. Keep in mind that even if the groom's family cannot contribute financially, they can still be a huge help in other ways, such as assisting with day-of preparations, organizing guests, or taking on DIY projects.

Who pays for a second wedding?

Generally, the couple pays for subsequent weddings themselves. However, their parents may still offer to contribute to some of the costs.

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